Patricia | The Glam Femme*inist | Fashionably Femme
Welcome to Femme Features. Femme Features is a blog series featuring femmes from all nooks of the LGBTQIA community. These rocking folks are activists, educators, bosses, parents, entrepreneurs, and all sorts of amazing human beings. Join us as we explore femme identity as so much more than a label, but truly a way of life.
Meet Patricia. A queer black feminist. She’s a truly inspiring human being who I found through Twitter. This NYC girl made my visit to New York that much better. She’s real, down to earth and doesn’t get embarrassed when I accidentally fling a tea bag across the coffee shop we visited afterwards (yup, that happened…). Follow her on Instagram and Twitter for a refreshing look at politics. And enjoy this wonderful look at Patricia’s fantastic style.
My style is a nonverbal expression of my identity and my personality. What I wear allows me to show the duality of who I am. I’m an introvert and am sometimes described as sweet and reserved — two traits normally projected onto women, whether we like it or not. But because I am also a Gemini, I tend to surprise people with my blunt, sarcastic sense of humor. In the same way, I love combining more feminine pieces with pieces of clothing that are a little bit more rough around the edges or unique. I also like taking a trend and making it my own. I would say my style is trendy with a creative spin.
Femininity, to me, is whatever I choose to put on display. Wearing form-fitting clothes to celebrate my body makes me feel very feminine. Wearing my hair long and wearing bright colors, ruffles, lace and any other traditionally feminine material gives me that same effect. The best part of it is that I can put it on and take it off – only I know that femininity is just one part of me. So even though I may come across as a girly-girl and I don’t feel like that a lot of
the time, an outsider would never be able to tell. It’s the best feeling to know that I can define my own femininity, whether it’s through my style or my attitude.
My style has definitely gone through an evolution. I have always tried to keep up with trends but when I was younger, because I was shy and didn’t want to stand out too much, I never put my own twist on it.
Even in middle school in the 90’s when it was trendy for girls to wear more masculine clothes, I was reluctant to really own that look even though it intrigued me. But I remember my favorite outfit was an oversized striped hunter green t-shirt and long, baggy jean shorts. I felt so comfortable and confident when I wore it. I also secretly wished that I could dress more grunge or punk like the white kids in my school but because there were so few people of color, we all felt a responsibility not to assimilate and to hold on to all that we considered to be our Black culture. Looking back, I wish I knew then what I know now — it’s cool to be different and no one can take away your cultural identity simply because of the way you dress.
As I grew older, my style influences were all of the women I saw on the subway in NYC. I’m from the suburbs and I didn’t find my creative side until I moved to Brooklyn for school. Before I came into my own as a femme, queer woman, I loved to people watch and admire the fashions of other women around me, especially queer women. It seemed like girls in NYC had a lot more freedom of expression and I wanted to experience that for myself. When I was a teenager, I used to flip through the September issues of all the magazines but never imagined I could actually pull off my own signature look. But I found that in NY, with the freedom to live more creatively, I not only found myself, but I found my sense of style too.
Now, I make a point to do a little something different with my style choices, so that I do stand out, especially because femme women tend to be invisible. Whether it is with my hairstyles or accessories I try to put a little bit of me into my look every day.
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