Remy, Bizqueer Lawyer Femme | Fashionably Femme
Welcome to Femme Features. Femme Features is a blog series featuring femmes from all nooks of the LGBTQIA community. These rocking folks are activists, educators, bosses, parents, entrepreneurs, and all sorts of amazing human beings. Join us as we explore femme identity as so much more than a label, but truly a way of life. You can check out all of our queer femme fashion, lifestyle, and activist profiles here.
After Kimberly’s Fashionably Femme feature went live, I received a message to my blog’s Facebook page. A person asking if they could be featured. For future reference, the answer to that question is always a resounding yes! If YOU identify as femme then you are welcome to be featured. Email me!
Thus, we have Remy’s feature. We’ve been chatting for several months now, trying to figure out when we would be in the same space. They came to Chicago, I misread my calendar, and we rescheduled. Finally after all this time, we finally got the photos done. So after several months and some inability to schedule on my part, I’m proud to present, Remy, the Bizqueer Lawyer Femme.
remy | bizqueer lawyer femme
Like many trans folks, when I decided to come out and change how I publicly presented myself, I had a clothing problem. Mine was perhaps, slightly different than most: Because I’m amab (assigned male at birth—i.e., I’ve got outie Bits), I have plenty of formal menswear I’ve picked up over years of presenting male in various contexts. However, I have also collected plenty of femme wear in the form of goth or glam stage attire from my days of fronting and playing in bands while trying very hard—and occasionally succeeding, I’d argue—at knocking off David Bowie. So, if I could somehow combine, say, a tailored suit, heels, and sequined, glittery accessories just so, I might not need to buy an entirely new wardrobe. The trouble was always going to be finding a way for it to read as something other than incongruous and absurd.
Of course, I am hardly the first to notice or comment on the binary gendered style of “business appropriate” office attire. As an explicitly out and non-binary, amab femme at a law firm, however, I have a daily style challenge in trying to have my outfits read as femme and formal enough while still just looking good and reflecting me. Many pieces of traditionally feminine office-wear—soft red lipsticks or matte black dresses with nude heels—just don’t work for me. Aesthetically, I favor bold, aggressive elegance. I enjoy riffs on classic patterns and adore clothing that hints at Victorian style (I also have a raven-like affection for shiny baubles—particularly vintage or repurposed ones).
Fast-forward to now and I think I have found a fashion space that fits: I’ve filtered David Bowie through Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The formality and rigidity of wearing a suit most days is pulled in a femme direction by bold make up and nail choices and accessories that verge on garish. Importantly to me, that femme direction is decidedly non-binary; I don’t read as “woman” but I certainly don’t read as “man.” My style is also much more remixed than it is original. Almost everything I wear is similar to something I’ve seen an older, well established lawyer femme wear. It reads as different—unlike what men or women either traditionally wear, certainly—but not altogether out of place.
The word I’ve been playing with using for my style is “bizqueer” (and “business casuqueer” on Fridays). Finding my bizqueer femme space has liberated me in my day to day life to be completely myself in my work—and in my out-of-work life. I am no longer concerned that the carefully curated façade of traditional masculinity I held out to the professional world will be shattered when I run into a colleague at a bar or compliment the wrong pair of heels. And perhaps more importantly, I’m a better lawyer for it.
Want to be featured in your own Fashionably Femme? Reach out through email, Facebook, or Instagram and we’ll set up a free photoshoot. Get blog space to share your story, your style, and your true self.
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